Ten Facts about First Borns Every Parent (and Teacher) Should Know.

Fascinating insights into our biggest cohort of kids - first borns. They're in every family, classroom and team.

Firstborns may not always rule the world, but with families shrinking, their numbers make them a significant force to be reckoned with.

In developed countries such as Australia, the US, and the UK, nearly 40% of children under fifteen are first born.

Here are ten evidence-backed and observational facts about firstborns that will shape how you parent, teach and coach this fascinating group.

1. First borns are groundbreakers.

First-born children are experiments that take parents to new ground at every developmental stage -infancy, early childhood, adolescence and adulthood.

They also introduce parents to pre-school, primary school, and secondary school and life beyond the education system. 

Every subsequent child in a family should thank their eldest sibling for breaking their parents in for them.

2. Being born first brings privileges.

First-born children are born into a privileged position.

Living in the spotlight, they often receive considerable attention from parents, grandparents, and numerous other relatives and friends. Family photo albums are filled with photos of first borns doing every first thing…….. first steps, first words, first day at school. Subsequent children? Not so much.

It’s not that interest dwindles when more children come along. Your attention as a parent is divided in many directions, meaning younger children receive far less time and attention than first-borns.

3. Being born first also brings pressures.

On the flip side, first borns live with pressure. They are expected to perform and live up to the family name, which is immense.

Expectations can be so high that many first borns, especially boys, fear making mistakes or errors.

First borns are risk-averse when it comes to trying new endeavours. They stick to what they are good at, which gives them parental recognition, which they crave.

4. Eldests are the family conservatives.

First born children are most likely in a family to follow the dominant employment and lifestyle path shown by parents.

If you’re in a profession such as education, medicine, or finance, your eldest child will most likely follow in your footsteps.

Like father, like son; like mother, like daughter, is the firstborn way.

5. First borns are achievement-oriented.

Firstborns work hard to achieve success in whatever path they choose. This reflects their desire for parental approval, which never disappears, even in adulthood.

First borns are overrepresented in many lists of leaders including US presidents and corporate business leaders.

This group typically consists of goal-setters, list-makers, and highly organised people. Their behaviours are designed to achieve success. They can drive themselves hard and have excessive expectations of those around them.

6. First borns are likely to be conscientious.

Eldest children and young people score higher on conscientiousness than children in any other position in psychological testing.

This trait compliments other first-born characteristics such as reliability, responsibility and dependability.

First borns generally take things seriously. Nose to the grindstone and all that. They typically need assistance to relax and chill out, so they benefit from a relaxed, stress-free environment.

7. First borns are anxiety-prone.

Firstborns may receive more excellent parental investment than laterborns, but that doesn’t necessarily guarantee good mental health.

Research conducted for my recent book Anxious Kids, showed that a high proportion of first borns experience anxiety at a critical level than children in other birth order positions.

This is no coincidence, as first borns live with more significant anxiety-inducing pressure than children born in other positions. Their propensity towards conscientiousness also adds to their anxiety.

When you add perfectionism and the achievement-orientation that most eldest children experience, it’s no wonder that developing good mental health habits in kids is a must for parents.

8. First borns are likely to be introverts

On the extraversion-introversion scale, eldest children generally score higher in introversion than any other birth order position.

I suspect the early years play a significant part in shaping this personality preference.

Time alone is usually rare for children born last in a family, while the eldest child spends much time alone well into toddlerhood and beyond, leading to their propensity for introversion.

Silence and time-away from the crowd is a first born thing.

9. Not all eldest children take on first born traits

First born traits such as achievement-orientation, responsibility, and family conservatism are sometimes seen in second-born children.

This is particularly true if the second child is of a more valued gender, where they’ll be treated more like the valued eldest child, with all the perks, privileges, and prestige of that favored position.

In my book Why First Borns Rule the World and Last Borns Want to Change It, I explained how circumstances such as cultural expectations, gender, special needs, and illness can impact birth order dynamics.

Although birth order is an essential predictor of a child’s personality and interests, it doesn’t necessarily determine their fate. It’s critical to understand the whole family picture, to understand a child’s birth order presonality.

10. First borns are the rule-keepers and makers

First born children value authority more than any other cohort, perhaps because they were born into a position of authority over their siblings.

This group typically adheres to the rules, routines, and structures of family life and school, which most parents appreciate.

They also enjoy reminding their siblings of every little rule or routine, which can infuriate younger kids.

And yes, eldest children will likely take on leadership roles at school, work, in the community, or in their interest groups.

They are rule followers and rule-makers.

That’s likely why Education, Law, and Politics are filled with firstborns. They love to take charge!

Finally…

Understanding birth order matters as it provides incredibly valuable insights into kids' personalities, interests and motivations.

Effective parents work with the differences in children rather than use a “one size fits all” approach.

Understanding how first borns tick helps parents and teachers adapt their approaches to suit the psychology of this fascinating group of kids.

Parenting Toolbox Words of Wisdom

“Family size, a child’s gender, sibling gender, and the age between siblings impact birth order. Family illness or death also impacts birth order. Once you know these variables, it’s easy to predict a child’s personality and life path.”

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