Kids, We Need to Talk About Dopamine.
The science behind kids' screen time struggles, and how to prevent kids being hooked in the first place.
This newsletter is part of a Special Series on Screen time that we’ll be publishing over the coming months (along with other topics), offering practical strategies to help children develop healthier relationships with their devices. As you know, screen time use is a massive concern for parents, and we’re excited about this series.
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In my years working with families, one of the biggest shifts I’ve seen is the ever-increasing pull of screens on kids.
It’s not just the content.
There’s a deeper neurological reason why they can’t put down their screens.
Blame it on a neurotransmitter called dopamine.
Understanding how dopamine works makes coaching kids about healthy and smart screen time use easier.
It Feels Fantastic!
Dopamine is the brain’s ‘feel-good’ chemical.
Laugh with a friend.
Bingo - you experience an instant pleasure hit of dopamine!
Traditionally, simple activities such as playing with friends or enjoying a tasty treat triggered the release of healthy dopamine for kids.
But today, kids get massive hits of dopamine from a far less wholesome source: their screens.
Every swipe, every like, every new video that pops up – it’s a shot of dopamine.
Social media feeds and endless streams of short-term videos are the worst offenders.
The unpredictability of what comes next keeps kids hooked, constantly chasing that next little hit.
It’s So Addictive!
The constant stimulation creates an addictive feedback loop.
Here’s the worst of it: Kids’ brains become wired to expect this instant gratification, making it harder to find satisfaction in less stimulating activities.
Yes, kids, we need to talk.
But first, here’s some background information for parents (family members, teachers and coaches).
Dopamine’s Ripple Effect: The Brain’s Balancing Act
It’s important to know that dopamine doesn't function independently.
Your brain is like a finely tuned orchestra, and when one instrument plays too loudly, it throws off the harmony.
When screens continually overstimulate dopamine, it triggers a ripple effect on other essential brain chemicals, such as:
The Happy Chemical - Serotonin
Serotonin is the brain's contentment chemical. While dopamine makes you feel excited and motivated to get something, serotonin helps you feel calm and happy with what you've got.
Excessive dopamine release can disrupt the serotonin system, making it harder for kids to feel content and peaceful. They might feel good while they're on the screen, but feel flat or irritable as soon as they put it down.
The Brake Pedal - GABA
Your brain has a natural "brake pedal" called GABA. Its job is to calm things down and prevent overstimulation.
A flood of dopamine can suppress the effects of GABA, making the brain feel overstimulated and "on edge." This leads to increased anxiety and make it difficult for kids to relax and fall asleep.
The Alarm System - Norepinephrine
Dopamine is also a building block for norepinephrine, a chemical that's part of the body's stress response. While a little bit is good for focus, a constant high level can make kids feel hyper-alert and stressed, as if they're always in a "fight-or-flight" state.
This chemical seesaw is why simply banning screens isn't enough.
Help kids understand why they feel such a strong urge to scroll.
Empowering them with knowledge about their brains gives them agency over their scrolling, rather than being at the mercy of their screens.
Holding Dopamine Conversations
Rather than simply telling your child that too much screentime is not healthy, demystify dopamine and explain its effects for kids. This will help them develop some agency over their screentime behaviour.
Here’s how you can talk to them in a way they’ll understand:
1. Keep it simple
Explain that dopamine is like a little messenger in their brain that makes them feel happy and excited.
Use analogies they can understand. For example, “Remember how good it feels when you score a goal in soccer? That’s dopamine at work!”
2. Connect dopamine to screens
Explain that screens are designed to give their brains lots of little hits of dopamine very quickly. “Every time you see something new or get a like on your video, your brain gets a little squirt of that happy chemical.”
3. Highlight the downside
Help them understand that relying too much on screens for dopamine can have negative effects. “If your brain gets used to getting all its happy feelings from screens, other fun things might not feel as exciting anymore. It can also make it hard to focus on things like homework or playing outside.”
4. Emphasise it's not their fault
Make sure they understand that this is how their brains are wired. It’s not a sign of weakness if they find it hard to stop scrolling. This can reduce feelings of guilt or shame.
Give them Healthy Dopamine Alternatives.
There are numerous other ways for kids to obtain a dose of dopamine that also foster valuable life skills and promote overall well-being.
Many of these they probably already enjoy, but they’re unaware of the pleasure hit they receive from them.
Here are a few ideas to suggest:
Physical Activity
Sports, such as running around the backyard or riding a bike or scooter, can be a great way to boost dopamine.
Creative Pursuits
Drawing, painting, building with LEGOs, and playing a musical instrument – these activities provide a sense of accomplishment and flow.
Social Connection
Spending quality time with friends and family, playing games together, and having meaningful conversations.
Setting and Achieving Goals
Even small goals, such as finishing a puzzle or learning a new skill, release dopamine when they are achieved.
Spending Time in Nature
Research indicates that spending time outdoors can have a profoundly positive impact on one's mood and overall well-being.
Helping Others
Acts of kindness and generosity can trigger the release of dopamine, fostering a sense of purpose.
Finally….
Your role isn’t to demonise technology, but to help your kids develop a balanced relationship with it.
By understanding the science behind their screen habits and offering them engaging alternatives, you are helping them make healthier choices and find joy in a wider range of experiences.
It’s essential to have those conversations yourself, rather than leaving it to teachers, and help your kids discover many ways to feel good, both on and off screen.
Do you know anyone who is struggling to get their kids off screens?
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Recent Short Posts from Michael Grose
Post 1
Don't just tell your kids that you love them--tell them why you like them.
Point out the qualities that make them fun to be around, the parts of their personality that shine, the little things they do that make them likable.
'I love you' matters, but so does 'I like spending time and doing things with you.’
With a nod to James Clear.
Post 2
Your child’s happiness and well-being are not a result of your perfect parenting performance.
It’s a joyful echo of your own peace and self-acceptance.
Post 3
Behaviour or emotions?
It’s not an either-or proposition for parenting.
You can still disapprove of a child’s public tantrum and take into account what may be going on internally with your child.
It’s okay to be angry, but not okay to be aggressive. Manage the behaviour and acknowledge the emotion.
A Note about Notes: I post thoughts and ideas regularly in short form on Substack Notes. You can follow and subscribe to my Notes here.
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I loved reading this! It's something I think about for myself all the time and have mentioned to my kids. thanks!