Discover Your Unique Family Brand
Develop a Parenting Style That's As Individual As You Are.
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Are you a Mercedes-Benz person or more of a Toyota person?
(I bet you didn’t expect to hear that question in a parenting newsletter!)
The first car is linked with prestige and security, and the second with adventure and fun. Your choice says something about you and your values.
Yes, I’m talking branding.
Branding isn’t just for the business world.
Families, too, establish brands that reflect their core values, including individual personalities, family culture and much more.
One family I know was described as “Off the wall, but those kids are so independent and are all doing well in their own way.” This family’s brand is Independence, Fun and Hardworking.
Another family was described as “Loud, boisterous, but everyone would give you the shirt off their backs if you were in trouble.” This family’s brand may well be Tolerance, High-spiritedness, and Generosity.
Three Ways Family Brands Help Parents.
Building a strong family brand offers three main benefits. First, it acts as the glue that binds a family together, helping parents foster strong bonds and a sense of belonging among children.
Second, a strong family brand gives parents influence when kids move into adolescence, which is traditionally a stage when parental influence wanes.
Third, the family’s brand reflects the culture parents have built, which strongly influences the type of adults your kids will become. Kids from a family that practises thrift, for example, will find that value hard to shake when they become parents themselves.
What’s Your Family Brand?
Discovering your family’s brand is more than just identifying values, even though they are important.
The following four aspects form a frame through which you can uncover your family brand:
1. The Family Atmosphere
Consider for a moment the general atmosphere or tone in your family.
Is it serious or fun?
Is it a place where encouragement rings out loud, or is it a place of criticism and negativity?
Is the atmosphere generally tense or terrific?
Egg shells or excellence?
Take time to consider your family’s atmosphere and be mindful that you can impact your family atmosphere by consciously adopting the mood and mindset you’d like to see and experience.
Expert Tip: If you wish to create an upbeat atmosphere, then set the tone by being cheerful, positive and enthusiastic yourself.
2. Shared Values and Attitudes
What values do you actively promote? What type of kids are you trying to raise?
To discover your family’s values, take a step back and consider the qualities that your kids have in common. If, for example, they’re all tolerant, then tolerance is a shared value.
Also, identify the behaviours you habitually remind your kids about, as they will reveal your core parenting values. If, for example, you get uptight when your kids are self-centred or won’t help others, then kindness might be a core value.
Expert Tip: Children’s values and attitudes generally reflect parental priorities.
3. Parenting Style
Your parenting style influences your family’s brand. A permissive style of parenting often produces a more adaptable, flexible family style, but can, on the outside, seem chaotic yet progressive. An autocratic parenting style usually promotes values such as obedience, conformity and excellence.
Ask yourself, how would your kids describe your parenting? Would they all describe it the same way, or do you adjust your parenting for different children? What kind of parenting style would you like to adopt?
Expert Tip: Knowing your preferred parenting style will help guide how you parent. Understanding your partner’s preferred style (if applicable) can help provide context to the decisions that they make.
4. Family Rituals and Traditions
Rituals and traditions are the consistent, repeatable behaviours that unite your family and define its identity. They include mealtimes, celebrations, birthdays, and other customs unique to your family.
Rituals anchor kids to their family, but they also make a statement about the values you hold.
My family, for instance, is big on noisy, all-inclusive discussion-type mealtimes, which is reflective of our family as a place to speak out, but also to respect others at the same time.
Expert Tip: Rituals are the coathooks upon which you hang your family memories. Work out the rituals that are negotiable and non-negotiable. As kids move into adolescence knowing which rituals are set in stone is crucial.
Distil Your Family Brand
Take some time to reflect on your family frame. What values do your kids have in common?
Think about the rituals and traditions you’re establishing. Reflect on your parenting style and that of your partner (if relevant). Think about your family atmosphere.
Then distil these ideas into three to five keywords. (At a later date you can then turn add ‘meat to these bones’ by describing more fully what each term means and how it impacts your family.)
Sit with those terms for a while to see if they ring true. If not, think about what you could replace them with. Consider sharing with your children and see what they come up with.
This is a fun, but valuable exercise as it will not only guide how you parent, but strengthen your kids’ bonds to their family, giving them a genuine sense of belonging.
Share the three to five terms that distil the best of your family. I’d love to hear them.
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Coming Up: Special Six Sessions Series
Many parents tell me they feel their family is fracturing, with siblings fighting fiercely, a general lack of cooperation and everyone ‘doing their own thing’.
So I’ve put together a special series of practical articles - a mini-course- to help you build a stronger, happier family with everyone pulling in the same direction.
Create A Strong Family Brand
Over the next six weeks, I’ll show you my step-by-step process for creating a dynamic family brand. In this special series, you’ll learn:
How to Parent Together (Even If You're Not Together).
The Secret to Working from the Same Script as Your Partner.
How to Build a Strong Food Culture and Why It’s Important That You Do.
Family Meetings: Three Ways to Conduct a Successful Family Meeting.
New Ways to Have More Conversations at Home.
How to Remove the Rivalry from Sibling Relationships.
This 'Create a Strong Family Brand' series is accessible to Paid Members.
Parenting Toolbox Wise Words
‘Self-knowledge is the best knowledge a child can have. The same holds for families. When you know what your family stands for, you are better placed to guide your group through adversity into happier times.”
Michael Grose, Parenting Toolbox
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