The Power of Noticing: Small Shifts that Build Big Leaders
You don’t need a parenting overhaul; you just need a keen eye and these five leadership building blocks.
In a recent post, I explored how the worlds of leadership development and effective parenting have essentially merged.
Raising a capable, resilient child is, in many ways, the ultimate leadership project.
Since then, my inbox has been buzzing.
Many of you reached out asking for the “how-to”—the boots-on-the-ground ideas to help bring these concepts into the living room, the backyard, and the car ride to footy practice.
As I’ve often said, fostering leadership starts with a shift in our own lens.
It’s about cultivating a leadership mindset. We need to move beyond just seeing good behaviour and start noticing—and naming—specific leadership habits.
What You Focus on Flourishes
There’s a simple truth in parenting: what you notice gets repeated.
When you shine a light on a child’s budding leadership, you aren’t just giving them a pat on the back; you are reinforcing a self-image.
This is particularly true for eldest children who often look to us for cues on how to navigate their world, but the impact ripples through the whole family.
The Power of a Shared Vocabulary
If you want to change a culture, you have to change the language.
When leadership terms become part of your family’s “kitchen table talk,” they become embedded.
Once they are embedded, they become a natural part of how your children operate.
Eventually, these habits are passed down to the next generation. That is the kind of legacy that truly sticks.
To help you catch your kids “doing it right,” try using these specific phrases linked to the Young Leaders’ five building blocks of leadership.
The secret is to praise the process and the specific block they are using.
1. Mastering presence (Presentation Skills)
The Focus: Presence and clarity.
What to look for: Steady eye contact, upright posture, and a clear, audible volume.
“I noticed how you looked the coach in the eye when you asked that question. That showed real presence.”
“I love how you projected your voice just now. It made it very easy for everyone to hear your idea.”
“You stood tall even though you were nervous. That’s what owning the room looks like.”
2. Stepping up (Responsibility)
The Focus: Ownership of actions.
What to look for: Admitting mistakes without prompts, proactivity with chores, and taking the initiative.
“I saw you realised you forgot your water bottle and went back for it without me asking. That’s taking ownership.”
“You owned that mistake instead of blaming your brother. “ That takes a lot of integrity.”
“You saw a mess you didn’t make and cleaned it up anyway. That’s the ‘buck stops here’ mindset.”
3. Staying ahead of the game (Organisation)
The Focus: Structure and foresight.
What to look for: Planning ahead, managing gear, and keeping personal spaces functional.
“I love how you mapped out your morning so we aren’t rushing. You’re mastering your own map.”
“You checked your checklist before we left the house. That preparation makes the whole day smoother.”
“I noticed you laid out your gear for tomorrow. You’re definitely staying ahead of the game.”
4. Moving from Me to We (Teamwork)
The Focus: Collaboration and empathy.
What to look for: Encouraging others, active listening, and navigating sibling dynamics smoothly.
“It was great how you asked your friend what they wanted to play instead of just choosing. That’s lifting while you climb.”
“I saw you encourage your teammate after they missed that shot. You’re building a stronger team.”
“You listened to everyone’s ideas before making a plan. That’s exactly how great collaborators lead.”
5. Taking charge of the inner CEO (Emotional Intelligence)
The Focus: Self-regulation and awareness.
What to look for: Naming feelings, pausing before reacting, and using self-calming strategies.
“I noticed you took a deep breath when you got frustrated with that puzzle. You’re doing a great job leading your ‘internal weather.’”
“You recognised that your friend was feeling sad and gave them some space. That’s high-level tuning in.”
“I’m impressed by how you named your frustration instead of acting on it. Your ‘Inner CEO’ is definitely in charge.”
Finally
By naming these behaviours—whether it’s the Organisation shown in a packed school bag or the Emotional Intelligence used to handle a disappointment—you are giving your child a vocabulary for lifelong success.
You help them see themselves not just as good kids, but as capable leaders.
Leadership isn’t a destination they reach at age eighteen; it’s a muscle they build every time they choose to own a mistake or lift up a friend.
It doesn’t take a massive overhaul of your parenting to raise a leader. It just takes a keen eye for the small things and the right words to reinforce them.
By catching them doing it right today, you are preparing them to lead the way tomorrow.
I love your focus on 'noticing' and cultivating a leadership mindset in parenting. Thank you! Mastering presence... stepping up... staying ahead of the game... I almost felt we wrote the same parenting story, just from slightly different perspective ;)
https://nomadicmind.substack.com/p/when-the-mountain-spoke